Not All Help is Helpful

Not all help is helpful. In working with families impacted by addiction for several years, there are a multitude of illustrations of hurting family members desperate to do the right thing to help a loved one overcome their addiction only to find out that instead they are not only NOT helping they are actually hurting the recovery of that loved one.

For example, here are some things that are not helpful:
1. Rescuing the person from the consequences of their choices over and over again
2. Treating a person as if she knows she needs help when she doesn't
3. Any action that allows their poor choices to continue
4. Continually moving the acceptable limits of behavior just one more time
5. Failing to be true to your word

Here are some things that are helpful:
1. Mean what you say and follow through with what you said
2. Remember the person is not only hurting you but they are also hurting themself
3. Love without strings attached; if there are strings attached that is manipulation
4. Pray rather than nag
5. Encourage the person to take responsibility for their actions by not assuming responsibility for their actions.

6. UPCOMING EVENT
Stephanie is one of the featured speakers at our 3rd Annual Family and Friends Addiction Seminar: Binding Up the Broken-Hearted. To learn more about empowering rather than enabling please join us for a day designed to provide practical help for individuals in relationship with an addicted person. It is our desire to give hope to the hopeless and to encourage the discouraged. Saturday, October 11th, 2008. 8:00 am-3:30 pm Sponsored by America's Keswick - Addiction Recovery Ministries. It will be held at an off-campus location: Whiting Bible Church, 95 Lacey Rd., Whiting, NJ 08759. $25.00 per person includes continental breakfast, lunch and materials. Call today for reservations and directions 732.350.1187 x. 10.