Where are You Lord?

I left you yesterday while I was waiting at the airport security checkpoint with anxiety beginning to grip my heart. Honestly, I have to admit that in my flesh, I was disappointed that God didn't show up since I was still anxious. (I acknowledge that my thinking was not theologically correct but I did say 'in my flesh'). It occurred to me that although I was disappointed that "God didn't show up" on my flight out that I didn't wait upon Him. Isn't that just like me? Is that like you, jumping in ahead of God trying to resolve the situation apart from God?
We arrived in Portland, Oregon late that evening. We had just a few brief days to visit with children, and grandchildren before I had to report to the rescue mission for the site visit.
Our flight back was a red-eye flight that left late in the evening. I sat in the airport that evening with a number of things going through my mind. I was struck by how similar my situation was to that of many people that struggle with addiction or really any other gripping temptation. My insides were quivering while I conversed with God. "Lord, how is my situation different than any other person faced with a decision to trust You or trust something else?" That 'something else' might be a drink, a pill, a friend, a sexual encounter, pornography, food, drugs or a good old shopping spree.
I sat there in the airport doing battle in my mind. It was my desire that God be glorified through my experience. I wanted a God-story for the women of Higher Ground and for Victory Call. I could take any number of ways out, all of which would strengthen my anxiety and stronghold. The only way to overcome the fear in this area of my life was to face it, smother it with faith and wait upon God.
I knew that every time I face life's difficulties, trust God and walk in obedience, I remove a brick from that wall that surrounds my heart and mind keeping me in bondage. Yes, it may only be one brick but it is one less brick and not one more. Every choice, every step, every decision, is either a step towards victory or a step away from victory. There are no neutral steps. I was ready to take a step towards victory.

Did God show up? Find out tomorrow.

Victory is one decision at a time.

Diane