Okay Lord, He's Yours

Okay Lord he's yours

Higher Ground is a Monday night support group/Bible study here at America's Keswick. We recently began a new study of the book "The Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer. WOW...this book has really made me stop, think and examine my heart...Am I truly pursuing God with all my heart, soul and mind? Sadly and shamefully, I have to admit the answer is no....but oh how I want too!
In so many ways, and from so many different directions I have been hearing God asking me "How much do you love Me? Will you still love Me, will I still be sufficient, will you still be obedient, if I take_________ from your life? Or if ____never happens? If My answer to your prayer is no?"
One of the things that stands in my way is...things...and not just material things but people. Although it's natural to cling to those we love, to cling to our earthly treasures...Tozer calls this evil! Most of us would say that our families, especially our children are our treasures. So is this a bad thing? Is it evil? Doesn't God want us to love our husbands, children, parents? And of course the answer is yes we are to love our families, care for them, provide for them but in our very sin nature we have a propensity to take the very thing that is good an elevate it to an idol level. Any time our lives depend on anything other than God...we are in trouble. Everything I am, everything I "possess" is from God.
Psalm 24:1 "The earth is the Lords and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it."
Psalm 50:12b "The world is mine and everything in it."
Ecclesiastes 5:19 "When God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work - this is a gift of God."

I've taken some of my gifts and put them in first place position instead of having God first place in my life in all things. And so God has been placing these questions on my heart. One thing that keeps coming up in my heart is my oldest son John. God and I wrestled recently, it wasn't pretty. I wept, I tried to hold on, I tried to plead but God won. Oh it was and is so painful. John isn't saved and it breaks my heart...I had to put his name in those blanks and cry out to God YES YOU ARE SUFICIENT. YOU ARE MY ALL AND ALL.
"Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not so committed." A. W. Tozer. John has never been safer because he is in God's hands. I know God loves him more and desires more for him then his Mom.

Dear Lord, continue to root out of my heart anything that's stands between putting you first place. I'm afraid Lord, give me your courage. Amen.

MaryAnn