Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Crippled Children

Crippled Children

This Victory Call is born out of much recent sorrow in my life. I have two children -one daughter and one son. I love them both deep and strong. If I give in to the bigness of this love, I could easily be overwhelmed by it. There is nothing I am not willing to consider doing to protect my children from hurt, harm or anything I perceive to be bad. I would bleed and die for them if it meant they would be spared any form of yuckiness. I know I am not alone in this. Virtually every parent I know would bleed and die for every child she has given birth to.

What I am learning -in such a harsh way- is, to love a person to the extent that they don't ever feel pain; to guard and protect them from life to that degree is in essence, a sure way to cripple them.
I know what I am saying because I have done it. Being a wife and a mom was the best thing apart from my conversion experience that ever happened to me. All I wanted for all of us was happy, happy and happier. When sad or angry or any of the 'yucky feelings' family showed up, I went into shield mode and did everything I could to disallow them entrance.
If I saw sadness trying to get in and ruin the "happiness" I'd shoo sadness away with distraction; any silliness I could think of to get a giggle or a laugh. If anger raised its ugly head I'd fight it with words of reason so that it never found a comfortable place to reside. The result is an adult child so unacquainted with dealing with her own feelings that as an adult, when the feelings come, she has no clue what to do with them. Rather than feel she runs to escape. Not realizing that the best thing to do (which I have learned) is to allow them; to face them, to take them to the healing place found at the foot of the Cross.
Dear one, am I speaking to you?
No matter what we do, life happens and it sometimes, often happens hard...very hard. And with no warning at all the flood gates of feeling come rushing in to literally overwhelm and crush.

What are we to do? How do we redeem the true, the right, the honorable and good, from what remains after the flood?
There is only one answer: Jesus. We must run first to the safety found only in the Father's arms and cry out for mercy and help. Admit that we have no control; we can't prevent another human being from feeling what they must feel. To do so is to hinder them from living fully and experiencing all of life -the good and the bad.

The next thing we must never, ever tire of doing is praying for and waiting for wisdom and discernment. It is literally a moment-by-moment process...process...process.

My heart aches today as I watch this one running full speed toward potential harm. Everything in me wants to tie an anchor around her and keep her out of harms way. And yet, I am convicted to see all my doing, doing, doing as a hindrance and not a help. What is mine to do is pray, pray and pray some more. How long? Until something happens.
Stephanie

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