Like A Bolt From Heaven -- It Hit Me!

Like a bolt from heaven it hit me.

I've been doing a lot of thinking. Over a year ago now, my family experienced an event that shook us to the core. Deeper than anything else had ever done, we were shocked and wounded and we will forever bear the mark(s) of that event.

Since that time, one question has risen to the top as "the question" most people want to ask in their effort to understand. Their minds wrestle to figure stuff out; to attach reason, meaning and explanation to such a soul rending event.
I'm well aware that lots of conversations have taken place behind closed doors in a sincere effort to wrap conscious intelligible language around the question -the question of questions..."Why?!!!"

Why did it happen? Why did God allow it? Why...? Why...? Why...?

From the very beginning I have been adamantly opposed, and almost defiantly resistant, to offering anyone "an answer." I know, that I know, there is no answer that will satisfy everyone. Any answer I would or could give to the "why" question for our situation would serve only to prompt another question...and then another...and another.

I believed then, and I believe now, that much energy is wasted in trying to figure things out, and even more is wasted speculating and judging. I believe the "why" does not matter much. For me the truest thing, the thing that gives me breath to breathe, is knowing -beyond any ability I have to ever explain or understand - that God is enough. God is enough. GOD IS ENOUGH!! And HE IS SUFFICIENT!

I know whom I have believed and I am persuaded that He is Who He says He is and He can, and will, do all that He says, and He will do it according to His good pleasure.
He sees and He hears all of our cries, our pleading to do something (heal, restore, deliver etc.) And, He may very well answer my prayers and petitions just the way I want and ask Him to...and He may not. All that He does will be as He thinks and knows best.

I don't know why, at a particular moment in time, a person decides to attempt to end their life. But I do know that God is God, and I am not, and He is able for the "everything" and the "whatever."

Through the thick and the thin, the better and the worse, He wants His name to be lifted up so that the earth and all who dwell in it will know that there is a God and His name is Jehovah, not John, Paul, Mark or whatever your name is.

The question is, "Will I trust Him though the anguish I feel seeks to pulverize my soul and extinguish my spirit? Will I trust, believe, and glory in the Cross; in the One who came to die for my sins. Will I do this even when life does not make a lick of sense...and even when I feel so bad?"

Most of us have children, spouses, siblings and parents. We have loved ones who are, one way or another, being beat up by the world or are dealing with big stuff in their lives.

We can talk about the "why" all day long. We could make dozens of judging statements in an effort to understand or discern what God may be trying to teach them.
What hits me over and over again is this -God really does want to be glorified in and through our lives...no matter what. He is zealous for us and our worship and He will not be satisfied with crumbs from our table. He wants us to move beyond our words and put feet to our faith and live out our faith for His glory even when we feel like doing everything but that. Even if we're curling up in a ball from pain or totally numb because we feel nothing and we don't have the reason why, will we choose to praise Him anyway...even when we don't know why?

Stephanie