So here I sit with every intention of having a nice uninterrupted devotional time. It's early in the morning, and the house is quiet because everyone else is still counting z's. I have my Bible, my journal, my coffee, my tissues, (I don't even want an all-of-a-sudden runny nose to interfere with my God-time). I have my pens, high-lighters, etc. I'm ready to commence and nothing is going to stop me. The one thing I didn't factor in or anticipate was my flesh. I had no idea how opposed it would be to my desire to go deeper, and God...
The opposition would begin the moment I opened my Bible. Even though it's first thing in the morning and my mind hasn't even fully revived for the day, I find it racing around at a crazy pace. So much so that it's difficult, very difficult, for me to focus on the words I'm attempting to read. I'm keenly aware of myself having to read the same words over and over again and the reason I'm doing that is simple. I've determined that my time with God is not going to ever be reduced to something I merely check off of my daily "to-do" list.
So, as I am determined not to let my flesh win this particular battle, there I sit reading and rereading the set of verses. Day after day, I found myself in this same battle. Initially, I wasn't even sure what was happening but as time passed the Holy Spirit began to make me aware of something. If I pressed on, my mind (my flesh) would begin to slow itself down and settle into what I was telling it to do. On average this process takes 15-20 minutes. What I'm learning is that it takes that long for my flesh to submit to what my spirit is longing for. But I have to. I must get through, press through, battle through those first several minutes. It occurs to me, that if I am only allowing myself 15-20 minutes each day, then all I will know is the battle and not the refreshing fruit and bounty of grace.
Sometimes, if I've waited until the end of my day, the process takes longer because I've accumulated a lot of "stuff" in the course of a day and it's all in there, churning and twirling and begging for some attention. However, if I want to feed my soul and receive spiritual manna, I have to/we have to, press on and press in. We have to tarry until something happens.
I have experienced and tasted the fruit on this laboring and nothing the flesh has to offer is worth skipping my time with God. I grieve myself and the spirit when I neglect my time with Him and therefore miss the blessing I'll only receive as I tarry.
Today's encouragement/exhortation:
Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.
~~James 4:7-10~~
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the LORD, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive.
~~ Jeremiah 29:11-14
Stephanie
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