When flesh is big....

       "Which is easier: to sit with a bucket of butter-soaked popcorn and watch Tom Cruise on the big screen for two hours, or kneel and pray for five minutes? Tom Cruise wins hands down, because there is literally no competition. What the flesh hates is God, so it resists anything that smacks of God-especially communion with Him.  The flesh can curl up by your side and watch mindless movies all night long. But let even the barest thought of meditations flutter into your mind, the flesh goes to Red Alert. Before you get past "Our Father," your eyes, which were glued to the screen, now sag in sleepiness, and your attention, which was so fixed on the plot, now zips around the universe faster than the Starship Enterprise.

"The flesh's hatred of God explains a lot." (The Enemy Within: Straight Talk About the Power and Defeat of Sin~ by Kris Lundgaard).  

Does this ring a bell?  When I read this a while back I began, perhaps for the first time, to realize that my flesh has it out for me.  Literally.  It is in self-protect mode.  It is very creative in finding ways to get its own way and all this time I was fairly oblivious to it.  Oh, I knew that I overeat, and doze off in prayer and wander hither and yon in my mind when I am trying to read the Bible, but I thought I was somehow different from most people I know.  I have been battling this for a long time and I am beginning to realize why I am seemingly losing the battle. MY FLESH.  Is it winning?  It seems to be.  Does it win? No.  Am I crucified with Christ? Yes.  My flesh didn't get the memo.  

My spirit desires God, my flesh resists God.

My spirit seeks God, my flesh avoids God.

My spirit wants to read the Bible, my flesh does not.

My spirit yearns for prayer, my flesh dozes off.

My spirit is willing but my flesh is weak.  

"Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41

I cry out with Paul, "Wretched (wo)man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?" Romans 7:24 () mine

I am going to sign off for now, but do not be discouraged.  There truly is victory in Jesus Christ and clarity and understanding is a necessary step to experiencing that victory.  "and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

Tune in tomorrow.

Diane