Life or Death?

"The tongue has the power of life and death." (Proverbs 18:21)

So, which is it for you? Do the words that come out of your mouth lift up and build or do they destroy and tear down? I would love to tell you that my words only uplift and build, but that would be a lie. If we were all honest with ourselves, our speech needs correction and improvement. As a counselor, so much of what I hear when dealing with relationships is that what we say to one another can be the biggest culprit in the destruction of that relationship. If only (and I hate "If only's") we thought more carefully about our words and we had chosen our communication more wisely, then so many of our relationships would have never fallen away and we would be basking in the sunshine of strong healthy friendships and marriages. In Proverbs 12:18 we read "reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Think about these words found in Ephesians 4:29 "do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." It reminds me of the saying "if you don't have anything nice to say - don't say anything at all."

Whenever I heard a message on the tongue, more often than not we ended up reading from James 3. With verses such as "how great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell." Just a few verses down we read that "with it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth comes blessing and cursing."

Did you know that in the book of Proverbs how we communicate is a persistent theme? I have not personally counted myself, but according to Ray Pritchard the book refers to the mouth/tongue over 150 times. I encourage you to read Proverbs and underline references to our speech. Each verse you come upon you can ask yourself two questions... How am I failing in my speech? And what specific kinds of words and speech do I need to add to my vocabulary or do more of? I'll get you started by suggesting you check out Proverbs chapter 10.

It is easy for us to point out those with a filthy or dirty mouth, and to feel righteous because we don't use foul language. But what about insults, anger or harsh words, name calling, gossip, spreading rumors, criticism, cutting remarks, sarcasm, exaggeration, and the list goes on. Clearly, scriptures teach that they, too, are inappropriate and destructive. God calls us to a "healing" tongue (James 3:5-6). What kind of tongue do you have?

Lynne Jahns
Christian Counselor
Director, KESWICK Institute of Biblical Studies

DIGGING DEEPER
James 3:7-9
7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind,
8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.