How Do You Handle Your Anger?

Let's face it -- we all have a problem with anger at one time or another. How we should handle the annoyances, conflicts, offenses, and disappointments of our life is what is important for each of us to discover.

The first picture that comes to mind when we think of anger is one of rage and cruelty of a person toward another person or situation or object. But often anger can be expressed by holding it in and giving the silent treatment to those we are angry with. Neither of these reactions works successfully in resolving the problem, but often are directed toward a person and act as an influence in making things worse. Resentment and bitterness can result from prolonged anger in a person's life. Just seeking to change our behavior and "controlling our temper" is not a permanent solution to the problem either.

So how then should we handle our anger? By asking God to show us the root of our anger and biblical solution to deal with the problem, we can begin by trying to identify the "why?" or reason for our anger. One definition of anger is, "God-given energy to help us solve problems Biblically".1 Another is, "A powerful emotion that is often misused to hurt others."2 We react emotionally to unmet expectations or perceived injustices.

By journaling your anger reactions for a few days, it is easy to see the pattern of the anger in your own life. Perhaps there have been unmet expectations of others or self, fear of the future, the unknown, unfulfilled desires, goals and wants, or simply the desire for control. These all can lead to an anger reaction to our circumstances in life that reveals what is in our heart. When we become aware that our anger is an offense to God, confession and repentance are necessary for change to take place in our heart and life. Ephesians 4:31 and 32 tell us to replace "Bitterness, Anger, Wrath, Clamor, Evil speaking, and Malice" with "Forgiveness, Kindness, Tender-heartedness" because through Christ God has forgiven us. The Holy Spirit gives us the biblical alternative and the power to "aim all your energies at solving the problem God's way".3

Becoming aware of an offense, we must check our own motives, asking God to give direction in bringing about positive change for solving the problem, while seeking to not destroy another. Pray for wisdom.

1 CJBI Biblical Counseling class, Anger notes, Semester 3, Dr. Dan Skogen.
2 Anonymous. The A to Z Guide to Bible Application, 1996.
3 Jay E. Adams, "What Do You Do When Anger Gets the Upper Hand?", 1975.
(For more on Handling Your Anger, see Chapter 7, "Anger & Bitterness" in Crossing the Jordan, CLC)

DIGGING DEEPER
James 4:15-16
Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.

It's finally here!!! Crossing the Jordan: Living Victoriously in Difficult Relationships by Diane Hunt, MaryAnn Kiernan, DeEtta Marsh, Stephanie Paul and Betsy Shoppy (several of our Victory Call writers). Today's Victory Call is just a taste of what you will find in this Bible Study for women. Although it was originally written for wives of men in addiction it has already been a blessing to women from various circumstances and relationships: moms, siblings, daughters, wives, fiancees, etc. Most of the 14 chapters are applicable to any woman in any situation. To secure your own copy contact America's Keswick Guest Services 732.350.1187 $16.00. If you have any questions contact Diane Hunt at dhunt@americaskeswick.org.