Thursday, September 22, 2011

Results of Unresolved Anger - BITTERNESS AND RESENTMENT

If the pattern of anger is not realized and confessed, repenting and asking forgiveness before God, the sinful anger continues taking root in our hearts as bitterness. In God's Word, the Bible, we are cautioned to be "looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;" Hebrews 12:15.

Bitterness has a good memory of the past wrongs others have committed against us, and as we brood on them and rehash the situations, the memories grow larger and soon a spirit of resentment and bitterness becomes the pattern of our life. Beth Moore, author of Praying God's Word, makes this statement, "...since the root feeds the rest of the tree, every branch of our lives and every fruit on each limb ultimately becomes poisoned."1

Some of the "poisoned fruit", or symptoms, of a stronghold of bitterness manifested in a person's life may appear as behaviors of complaining constantly, depression, nit-picking, frequent illness, and lack of energy. Bitterness is perpetuated by practicing bitterness; it is like a cumulative snowball that grows larger by feeding on itself. There may be certain times or places that a person rehashes or broods on particular events that perpetuate the bitterness. In the book, Women Helping Women, author Penny J. Orr uses the term "rituals of addiction"2 which describes this type of behavior that leads to any bondage, such as that of bitterness. I have found that the way out of this cycle is by "...bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,..." (2 Corinthians 10:5). This is done by prayer, surrendering those thoughts, words and actions to Him by praying for the person or situation that has brought up the bitterness within you.

Remember that the offender is not as hurt as you are by your anger, bitterness and resentful spirit. By genuinely releasing these hurts to God and forgiving those who have offended you, there will be freedom from the stronghold of bitterness in your life as God brings healing - emotionally and spiritually. Author Gary Chapman states, "It is never our job to vindicate ourselves by making people pay for their wrongs."3 "Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord" (Romans 12: 17-19).

A change in our thought patterns is now necessary since negative thinking feeds bitterness. Negative thoughts need to be replaced with kind-hearted thoughts and biblical truth. Two Scriptures that will bring the focus toward filtering our thoughts are Ephesians 4: 31, 32, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." And Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - mediate on these things."

1 Beth Moore, Praying God's Word, 2000.
2 Penny J. Orr, Chapter 15 "Counseling Women with Addictions"; Women Helping Women, Elyse Fitzpatrick & Carol Cornish, General Editors, 1997.
3 Gary Chapman, The Other Side of Love, 1999.

(For more about overcoming Bitterness & Resentment, see Chapter 7, "Anger and Bitterness", in Crossing the Jordan, CLC)

(The topic of Forgiveness is covered more fully in Chapter 8, "Biblical Forgiveness", in Crossing the Jordan, CLC)

DIGGING DEEPER
James 4:15-16
Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.

It's finally here!!! Crossing the Jordan: Living Victoriously in Difficult Relationships by Diane Hunt, MaryAnn Kiernan, DeEtta Marsh, Stephanie Paul and Betsy Shoppy (several of our Victory Call writers). Today's Victory Call is just a taste of what you will find in this Bible Study for women. Although it was originally written for wives of men in addiction it has already been a blessing to women from various circumstances and relationships: moms, siblings, daughters, wives, fiancees, etc. Most of the 14 chapters are applicable to any woman in any situation. To secure your own copy contact America's Keswick Guest Services 732.350.1187 $16.00. If you have any questions contact Diane Hunt at dhunt@americaskeswick.org.

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