Wednesday, July 05, 2006

He Said...She Said...They Felt - Part I

He Said...She Said...They Felt - Part I
Here was the scene being acted out at a recent Families For Christ Weekend :
The wife is talking on the phone telling someone that she doubts her husband will remember it's their anniversary. To her surprise he comes in a few moments later with a card and flowers for her. However, he had purchased a birthday card by mistake. The wife reacts complaining that it obviously was not important enough to him to get the right card. His shoulders slumped.
This following comments were from an audience of couples who watched this scene acted out. The men responded how they thought the husband felt and the women how they thought the wife felt.
He Felt...
Felt that no matter what he will do, it's never good enough for her. Also this woman is so hard to please- if she only will know my motive or intension. How I feel for her with the intention I did it.
No respect-no feeling.
Unappreciated, dejected, scared, upset.
At least he tried!
Unappreciated, useless, rejected, incompetent.
Put down because he'd made a small mistake. She really isn't interested that I tried-was trying.
Felt like: What's the use in trying?
Rejection, frustration, anger, despair.
Felt his actions were unappreciated and his mistake was pointed out.
Embarrassed, ashamed, disappointed.
No consideration of this thoughtfulness!
Unappreciated or rejected as being forgetful of the special day.
Wrong, unappreciated, not good enough, and sorry.
Felt like the attempt was worthless even though the man tried with the card and flower.
Unacknowledged, thoughtfulness unaccepted.
Not good enough. Didn't see the effort made.
Hurt, Unappreciated, disrespected.

She Felt...
Hurt, he didn't care enough to pay attention to the details. Like he was just doing it so that she wouldn't be in his face about forgetting.
Unappreciated, unloved, sad, hopeless.
Unimportant to him, unloved, as if she has no worth to him because he was careless and didn't pay enough attention to the gesture to do it accurately.
Unloved, hurt. NO LOVE.
Unimportant, disappointed, brokenhearted.
Unimportant, unloved. An afterthought, bought card just to fill an obligation.
She felt disrespected not loved, he didn't remember. Not loved.
Unappreciated, undervalued, unloved.
Disappointed he didn't care enough to even read what the card said.
He didn't care enough to buy the right card. Disappointment, unloved, neglected, forgotten, let down.
Hurt, not heart felt. He was self motivated, did it to keep her from complaining to him and keep him out of trouble.
Not loved, not considered, not thought of, not cherished. Is she not important?
Anger, unloved, like the man was stupid.
Unloved, Unappreciated, neglected. He didn't care enough to take time to read the card.
Wife last on the list, unimportant, she wanted to be loved enough to feel special and remembered in a special way by doing what was special in her own mind.

Dina

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