He Said...She Said...They Felt - Part II

He Said...She Said...They Felt - Part II
How would you like it if your husband gave you dead roses? I didn't like it. I felt unloved, unappreciated, unimportant and did I mention I felt unloved? Well, I did feel unloved, but the truth is I felt that way before I got dead roses. And more of the truth is he did love me. Years ago...and early in my marriage I had asked my husband for white roses in a box for my birthday. (I had very grand ideas of what love should look like.)
He was very sweet and got me exactly what I had asked. He even went to the extent of carefully hiding them in the closet overnight (because he knew I couldn't wait for anything and would probably snoop, which I don't advise you do!) The next day he gave me a beautiful card and my box of roses, of course when I opened it they were not looking very perky! I tried not to show my disappointment but in my heart I felt unloved, like he didn't care enough to get it right. I thanked him, put them in water and a few hours later they looked great! I was happy about that but still madder than a hornet! Why? I felt unloved and in my mind love looked like everything I saw on TV or in the movies, no mistakes, no dead roses! I don't know what he would say but I will guess that he felt like nothing he did was ever good enough. Sound familiar?
Just by "happenstance" I stumbled across the comments in yesterdays VC which were written down on index cards and left behind from a Keswick ministry event. I couldn't help but feel I needed to find out what the story was behind them and offer my two cents.
The problem wasn't that my husband didn't love me he did show me love in many ways, like the time he bought me a statue of a rabbit ( I collect them ) and gave it to me for Christmas. That was thirteen years ago...he had bought the entire collection and gave me one each year for Christmas. I now get them from our son. I'm told I have many years to go. What he and I lacked was good communication. Instead of trying to always make him into my minds image of what love looked like, I could have tried to see the love in the things he did do. Dead roses were all I saw, but how about the fact that he did get what I asked for, so what he goofed, I believe it was the first time he had ever given any woman flowers, he simply didn't think about it. So ladies how about a little grace, how many things have you goofed up recently? Look for the evidence of love and give evidence of yours.
God's word tells what love looks like in 1Corinthians 13: 4-8,
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Wives respect your husbands. Don't get on the phone and bad mouth him to anyone that will listen. He's not a mind reader. Share your heart with him.
Husbands love your wives. Go buy those roses you know will die in a few days! It's not a waste of money; it's a gift for your wife. Share your heart with her.
Above all be real with each other.
Dina