I have to smile. I have been hoping that God would give me ideas and experiences that would be appropriate to share in Victory Calls. And He did. God doesn't waste anything and doesn't seem to be interested in fluff. I have on occasion prayed and asked God to change me and use me that I may share life truths with other women on this journey. That's a nice way of saying I have been willing to be a guinea pig, a living example of God's hand at work. Of course, by God taking me up on that, I have experienced things that remind me that I am weak and that I am a sinner, and I have not arrived.
God had been working in my life for a few weeks, challenging me to pray in faith not in fear. I wasn't sure exactly what that looked like. I really wanted to pray in faith but I had nagging fears that captured my attentions and hindered me, sometimes. Perhaps it would make more sense if I explained it this way... There were times I would be praying about a situation but what I was picturing in my mind was not victory but defeat. I would finish my prayers having done what a 'good Christian' should do but none-the-less felt defeated. I could just sense God trying to reveal the unbelief in such prayers.
I was reading a book From Fear to Freedom by Rose Marie Miller when I was stopped in my tracks. Miller wrote: "We confessed our unbelief; that is, that we had been praying for Barbara with a negative image of her future, without praising God for Christ's power to change her. We confessed that our minds had been clouded with doubts." That's what I had been doing! Praying with unbelief! What could be more discouraging that to pray, not believing for victorious results? I was praying fearing the wiles of the enemy, rather than praying believing the surpassing power of God to transform and to grant victory.
Father, forgive me for my unbelief. Teach me to pray, believing.
How are your prayers?
Diane
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