Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Rejoice With Those Who Mourn

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. -- Romans 12:15

Recently I was listening to a "Focus on the Family" broadcast "Preparing for Widowhood." Several widows shared their hearts. As I listened, I waited to hear from them the practical things that we could do for the ones we are closest to who mourn in silence because they don't want to bother us or worse, they mourn in silence to avoid being hurt by us.
Most of us are simply ill-equipped; we don't have a clue as to what to do or say or when to do or say it.

Therefore, I offer these thoughts as shared by this small group of widows.

"LISTEN! If there is anything that a widow wants to talk about it's her loved one that is gone.
Let her talk.
That is the only way she is going to release her grief.
Talking about death doesn't mean it's going to happen to you.
Don't pretend it didn't happen and make the whole experience go away.
Stop saying the wrong things.
"God took them away." "God knows best." "It's for the best."
Just say, I love you. I know you're hurting. You're gonna make it."

These dear women shared the above statements and much more. If you are so inclined, I'd encourage you to go the Focus on the Family website at www.family.org and listen to this series of broadcasts that did much to expand my thinking on grief.

One other thing that I gleaned from each of them was the need that existed for help in handling their affairs. Life goes on and everything that had to be handled before must still get done. On top of the grief every day is the business of handling finances, etc., related to death, when all you really want to do is go to bed and cry.
And the final thing I heard from them was an encouragement not to be afraid to reach in.

Sisters, let us be mindful of those in our midst who through the death of a loved one or who through the death of a marriage are left alone, on their own for the first time in years. They need us and we need them. None of us are in this alone. We need each other. Today it may be our friend or neighbor and tomorrow it may be you or me. Let us be faithful to see these dear ones and be unafraid to go and...just be there.

Stephanie

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