Monday, May 14, 2007

Lessons on Widowhood

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ~~Romans 12:15

Today I want to unapologetically talk about widowhood. I'm not a widow but one day I certainly could be. Or maybe I will precede my husband and he will become the one left alone. But regardless of whether my own experience has yet to encompasses this part of life, it's a sure thing, that day will ultimately arrive should the Lord tarry.

At the present time I have a handful of acquaintances/friends who are grieving. Over the past year each has, expectedly or unexpectedly, become a widow. They are alone and so desperately do not want to be. One seems to have moved a bit past the extreme weight of loneliness, or so it appears. But others, well for them, the gaping hole that remains is an ever-present, constantly chafing reality. It is something I can not fathom.

I'd be lying if I said I could imagine what it is like for them. As much as I want to speak some truth to them, that comforts and consoles their hearts, I know there is nothing I can say to replace their mourning with gladness. All I can hope to do for these loved ones is "be there."
There simply are no words that suffice.I think and pray for them often. And I sometimes wonder how we, those of us that are their family and friends, can come alongside and be a source of strength in their time of sorrow.

Until recently I had no concrete answers then I came across a "Focus on the Family" broadcast "Preparing for Widowhood." I figured this was a God-provided opportunity, so I listened and within moments, I heard a group of dear women share their hearts regarding the death of their husbands.

One thing that struck me as they spoke, even after much time had passed, there existed in them this sweet sorrow; sorrowful joy that has found its place in their everyday life. A type of mourning, you could say which they are very much aware of yet no longer afraid of either. It's simply there as an indication that they are alive and well and deeply missing the love of their lives. And more importantly, their sorrow provides them with an abundance of time, sitting at the feet of Jesus, the only one who can rightly and perfectly absorb the ache in their hearts and give them comfort.

For many of us, who have not walked on this pathway of grief, we do not know how to best minister into the lives of grieving family and friends. We desire to be a comfort but are often at a loss as to what to do. Tomorrow I will share some to the practical insights I gleaned from the program. Stephanie

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