When I Go AWOL

In the United Kingdom, United States and Canada, military personnel become AWOL (US: Absence Without Official Leave) or AWL (UK, Canada and Australia: Absent Without Leave) when they are absent from their post without a valid pass or leave. The United States Marine Corps and United States Navy generally refer to this as Unauthorized Absence, or "UA." Such people are dropped from their unit rolls after 30 days and then listed as deserters. However, as a matter of U.S. military law, desertion is not measured by time away from the unit, but rather:
* by leaving or remaining absent from their unit, organization, or place of duty, where there has been a determined intent to not return;
* if that intent is determined to be to avoid hazardous duty or shirk contractual obligation;
* if they enlist or accept an appointment in the same or another branch of service without disclosing the fact that they have not been properly separated from current service. - Wikipedia

There are times in the battles of my life where I have gone AWOL. Using the above definition the second bullet point stands out to me. I go AWOL when things get too painful, life becomes too hard, or I just can't "do" what I am called to "do" anymore. We all get fatigued from being on the front lines. Sometimes we just have to get off the field.

For me, the problem is when I get to this point I feel guilty. The enemy comes right in and shows me how weak I am, how much of a failure I am, and how disappointed God is in me that I couldn't fight better or longer. God knows when we will go AWOL. Rather than accusing, imprisoning or putting us on trial, He knows our limits. (We will see next time that He also knew despair and He asked if there be another way than to go to the front line, that it might be so.)

When I went AWOL recently a friend directed me to see God's grace in the situation. Those of us who have been taught that what they "do" counts the most, often need to be reminded about God's grace. She reassured me that God knew where I was in my pain and that it was okay to have a day just to feel despair, to kick and scream; after all, God knows all that too. Notice that by U.S. military law desertion is not measured by time away from the unit but according to the intent. I could not remain absent with no intent to return. I could not separate myself from my service to the King. Though I felt like it, I knew I could not and would not be a deserter.

While doing some work-related reading I came upon a chapter on change. Often, we go AWOL because things just went from bad to worse. The battle plan shifted and maybe took us by surprise. Then I read this quote about the difficulties some have with change:
"Once a week, people could visit Pity City. But they weren't allowed to move there."

If you have gone AWOL it's okay...for a little while .. you just can't move in and live there. We may not like the change that has occurred but then you and I need to adjust.

Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:14-16

Kathy Withers

Kathy's on staff at America's KESWICK in the Development Department. Kathy has been married to her husband Dave for 25 years. They have two adult children. Kathy is active in her local church and has previously served as a Teaching Director for Community Bible Study. Her passion is to encourage women to deepen their walk with Jesus Christ by finding and living out the truths of God's Word.

DIGGING DEEPER
James 1
2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,
3for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.