Inflamatory speech

"But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person"  Matthew 15:18.

The way we communicate with others goes a long way to belie the attitudes of our hearts.  Many times when we are not careful with our speech, we add seemingly little words that pack a power punch that expresses what's really in our heart and jabs the other person.  Perhaps examples would help clarify this point.

The difference between "Are you doing the dishes?"  and "Are you STILL doing the dishes?"

The difference between "Are you reading the paper?" and "Are you reading the paper AGAIN?"

The difference between "Have you taken out the trash?" and "Have you taken out the trash YET?"

The difference between "You requested I do the banking" and "You MANDATED I do the banking"

The difference between "You can be insensitive" and "You are VERY insensitive".

The difference between "You often miss the laundry basket" and "You ALWAYS miss the laundry basket."

The difference between "Are you taking a shower" and "Are you taking ANOTHER shower?"

The list could go on and on.  We often add inflamatory words to our communication that jab the person we are talking to and make them feel like we just gave the knife a quick twist.  Where is the grace in that?  Where is the humility in that? How does that move us forward in a goal to have godly communication?  Inflamatory speech is packed with judgement. We can shut communication down in an instant with inflamatory speech that immediately puts the other person on the defensive.  

Ephesians 4:29: "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." ESV

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. NIV

"Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it." AMPLIFIED

Let us therefore be wise with our words, building up and encouraging others, using them for God's purposes rather than our own.

Diane