Blah

Blah
Have you ever had a blah moment? You know, those days when you don't want to know or be known by anyone? Every once in a while I have one (some) and while I am spiritually aware of the darkness that surrounds such moments, I am also aware of how subtly my flesh enjoys that darkness.

My soul (my mind, my will and, my emotions) can sink in to the mist of my darkness and before I know it, set up camp. Like sticks gathered for a nice warm fire, my mind gathers all of its stinky thoughts and along with my will and emotions have a grand ol' time rehashing the injustices, the pains, the slights, and the unfairness of it all.

In moments like these, I allow my flesh to rise up and wander down corridors and into doors long since closed and sealed...along with all their dirty little secrets. I feel emotions long since surrendered and I feel the draw of dread, despair or hopelessness.

Even though everything in me knows better, I still do it. I allow myself to be sucked in and I make a conscious choice to do nothing. At its worst, in moments like these I begin to identify myself with all that I am feeling. Ugly, fat, stupid, unwanted, unloved, worthless...

Though it seems like hours have passed, the reality is, it has only been moments. Mere moments and I have been swallowed up; dragged deep down into a pit of my own making.

And then, and then I hear the sweetest sound. Oh how I love that sound! Only He; the One who is Hope; who speaks to my deepest inmost parts can make this sound; a sound that is barely a whisper, but it's enough to capture my attention. I wish I could put it in a word but I can't. All I know is I hear it and it causes me to lift my eyes upward, thus breaking hold of the downward spiral.

Tears begin to flow, and with each stream of tears; with each cleansing breath the blah simply vanishes. It's just gone! With my voice I cry out and the Comforter is there to counsel me and remind me who I am and who I am not.
I am not my bad feelings. I am not my worst moments. I am not my mistakes. I am not defined by any of that. I am who Father says that I am!

How are you feeling today? Are you having a blah moment? Stop, look up, listen and remember whose you are! You are a daughter or The King; the Most High God! The One Who Is Holy! He, Christ Alone is our hope; our comfort; our peace; our sanity; our every, everything. Together, let's kick blah to the curb and stand in the power of Christ, fully persuaded that nothing can or will ever be able to separate us from Him or His love.
Stephanie