Thursday, October 18, 2007

Duty vs. Delight

Duty vs. Delight

I've been a believer/follower of Jesus Christ for 24 years. I have been in many churches in the course of my speaking opportunities, I've been to well over 100 retreats/seminars and I heard many, many sermons and radios broadcasts. Somewhere along the way I lost the joy of participation.

I started to believe that to be a good Christian I had to read my Bible every day, pray daily, be at every church service, participate in small group, teach Sunday school and attend every ministry opportunity and if I didn't I somehow had failed. Oh, the weight of that. For a few years I wrestled in my spirit questioning how did I become such a "bad" Christian? Why did I constantly feel like I didn't measure up? I'm in full time Christian Vocational Ministry, how could this have happened?

Then I had a V-8 experience (it dawned on me) the reason I feel like I didn't measure up is because I was hearing the message loud and clear from various sources that to be a good Christian I must do A, B and C. I was feeling like it was my duty to do all those things expected of me. Everything within me was screaming "RUN".

As I was attending Seminary 15 years ago, at one point Bible study became an academic pursuit rather than relational. I could see that it was becoming an exercise of my head rather than my heart. I chose to drop out of the Bible study. It was an excellent study, but for me at that point in my life, it was drawing me away from God rather than towards Him.

As I am relearning that I don't have to do, do, do to be a good Christian; I am also learning that I can rest in what Christ has already done through His finished work on the cross and His resurrection life in me. Duty has turned to delight. I desire to be in the Word. I desire to fellowship with other believers. I desire to be in service and small group. To be free of others expectations brings peace to my heart. Oh, the expectations are still there, but I am free to not fit the mold. Who wants to be a 'moldy' Christian anyway?

Are you resting in Christ's life in you or in your own efforts to be a 'good' Christian? Are you trying to fit someone else's mold or expectation?

As Christ lives His life through you, you will pray, read your Bible, attend church, etc because you desire to do so not because you have a duty to do so. Oh, what a wonderful freedom and peace there is in that truth.

Galatians 2:21 "I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain."
Matthew 11:28-29 "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

A recovering Pharisee,
Diane

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