Choose To Trust

There is a saying- "What you don't know can't hurt you." Right now I don't know where my son is. What I don't know is killing me. I don't pray easy prayers for my children. I have shared how I pray that if my children will not bend their knee that God will break their leg. What I have learned is that prayer won't just break their legs, but as God answers, it will break my heart. I have had to decide these last few months that God knows where my son is and that that is enough. Many plans of action have gone through my mind, but I do not believe he is in harms way. Rather he is choosing not to be found at this time. I realize that I lost my last ounce of control, my last bit of being able to keep my hands in my son's life.

For all the letting go I have done, I find that I have had to let go of even more. God knew this time would come and I feel Him tugging at my heart to trust Him even more. Am I okay with the knowledge that my son can run but he can't hide from God? Am I content with the knowledge that God does see him even when I can't? Do I trust that this is the next step to drive my son to Christ? Do I trust that God is more than able?

Just when I thought I could not trust God anymore a bookmark was placed in my mailbox outside my office. It reads:

Father, During this coming week there may be times when I shall not be able to sense Your presence or to be aware of Your nearness.

When I am lonely and by myself I TRUST YOU TO BE MY COMPANION.

When I am tempted to sin I TRUST YOU TO KEEP ME FROM IT.

When I am depressed and anxious I TRUST YOU TO LIFT MY SPIRITS.

When I am crushed by my responsibility and overwhelmed by the demands of people on my time, I TRUST YOU TO GIVE ME POISE AND A SENSE OF PURPOSE.

When I am rushed and running I TRUST YOU TO MAKE ME STILL INSIDE.

When I forget You I TRUST THAT YOU WILL NEVER FORGET ME.

When I forget others I TRUST YOU TO PROMPT ME TO THINK OF THEM.

When you take something or someone from me that I want to keep; when You remove the props I lean on for comfort in place of You; when You refuse to respond to my questions and to answer my selfish prayers, I WILL TRUST YOU EVEN THEN. Amen

Will you trust Him with your "even then"?

Kathy Withers

PSALM 66
16 Come and hear, all you who fear God,
and I will tell what he has done for my soul.
17I cried to him with my mouth,
and high praise was on my tongue.